Introducing Spiritual Naturalist Chaplains

This Summer the SNS Council approved the launch of Spiritual Naturalist Chaplains, and I agreed to become the first volunteer chaplain for the Society and its members. Shortly thereafter, SNS was recognized by the Board of Chaplaincy Certification Inc as a spiritual community that endorses professional chaplains.

“Wait, what?” you may be asking. “Aren’t chaplains basically religious clergy for people with traditional religious needs? Can you be a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain? What does a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain even do?

Some of those questions are addressed at the SNS Chaplains page linked above. In this article, I’d like to engage with the last question and offer an example of the kind of conversation a person might have with a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain.

First, what does a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain do? Professional chaplains have specialized training to be able to provide spiritual care and support to any person in distress regardless of that person’s beliefs, philosophy, or religious affiliation. The chaplain has their own beliefs, philosophy, and practice, but they must never impose their own views on the people they support. Professional spiritual care is about meeting people where they are and supporting them in ways that are meaningful for them.

So, a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain will draw strength from their own naturalistic orientation and spiritual practice to support a person in need according to that person’s own beliefs and values. As you might imagine, this requires a lot of patient listening and asking open ended questions.

“Okay,” you might be thinking, “I get that if the chaplain and the person they are supporting are both Spiritual Naturalists. They can talk about things from the same or similar perspectives. But what about when the person seeking care is a more traditionally religious person or a supernaturalist?” Then, the chaplain works within the language, stories, and beliefs of that person to support them. Bottom line, the professional chaplain is not interested in abstract ultimate truth in their work, but rather, in the truth of this person’s condition and what this person needs to help them find peace.

What follows is a fictional example of the kind of conversation a person might have with a Spiritual Naturalist chaplain(1). To set the stage, Ben is a person in his late 30’s who, with his partner, Jess, has just moved his mother in to live with them due to her declining health. Ben’s mother has been experiencing short term memory loss with increasing confusion and, due to her poor appetite, has had to be hospitalized three times in the past 6 months with dehydration and malnutrition.

Chaplain: (Calling Ben at an agreed upon time.) Hi, Ben, this is James the chaplain. Is now still a good time?

Ben: Hi, James. Thanks for calling. Yes. This works fine. I’ve been needing to talk with someone.

Chaplain: What’s on your mind today?

Ben: Well, I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately. We had to move my mom in with us because health has been going downhill. She is still up and around the house, but is really confused and easily becomes agitated. I work from home, but I keep having to leave my workstation to make sure she hasn’t gotten into something. It’s like having a toddler around!

Chaplain: Wow. That does sound stressful. Who else lives in the house with you?

Ben: My partner, Jess, who works as a middle school teacher.

Chaplain: Sounds like Jess has a lot on their plate too.

Ben: Yeah. Jess does help sometimes when Mom gets up in the night, but it’s all on me during the day. The rest of the family lives out of state. I mean, we’re managing, but I’ve already used all my PTO for the year from when she was in the hospital, and last week her doctor said it might be time to start considering hospice care. I just don’t know if I’m ready to think about that.

Chaplain: I hear you, Ben. You’ve already been through a lot these past 6 months, and now moving Mom in with you adds a new level of pressure.

Ben: (Sighing) Yeah.

Chaplain: What do you turn to when life feels unmanageable?

Ben: Well, I’m not super religious. I guess I consider myself a Secular Buddhist. I practice Vipassana meditation—on my own mostly, but I join a group at a local meditation center too when I can.

Chaplain: How has Vipassana helped you throughout your life? Do you feel able to turn to that practice now with everything going on?

Ben: Well, I guess it gives me a chance to slow down for a minute and breathe. I’ve been so distracted lately going from work to trying to care for Mom and trying to figure out what she’s going to need that my mind feels like it is just always racing. I used to meditate for 20 minutes every morning before work, but since she moved in last month, I think I’ve done it maybe twice? I’m just always so tired.

Chaplain: How have you been sleeping?

Ben: Not that well, actually. I’m having to get up earlier to feed her before work and also sometimes in the night with her if she gets out of bed. Don’t even get me started about all the bathroom accidents and messes!

Chaplain: Yeah. That’s really rough. Did you grow up with a Buddhist practice or is that something you found your way to later?

Ben: No. Mom is Catholic. She took me and my sister to church every week when we were little. I never really bought what the church taught about salvation and the afterlife, but I did find the Mass comforting for a while after my dad died when I was 15.

Chaplain: I’m sorry to hear about your dad.

Ben: Thanks. He was on his way home from work late one night and got hit by a drunk driver. Losing him so suddenly really spun me around through my late teen years, and I ended up leaving the church after high school. All the stuff about angels and heaven, and, I mean, who gave you the right to tell everyone else what’s what? It just didn’t make sense to me. I found Vipassana in college and it really grounded me as I entered adulthood and started my career. Mom is still Catholic. If things keep going the way they are, I guess I’ll need to get a priest for her or something.

Chaplain: How do you feel about that?

Ben: I’m okay with it. I mean, that’s still her faith, even if it doesn’t work for me anymore. I love her and want her to have everything she needs.

Chaplain: Does she have a connection with a Catholic parish in the area or would you like me to help you call a priest when the time comes?

Ben: If you know someone you can call, that would be a huge help.

Chaplain: I do. Just let me know when you’re ready for that and I’ll help with the arrangements.

Ben: Great.

Chaplain: But let’s get back to you and the stress you’re experiencing with all that’s going on. You’ve talked about how grounded you’ve felt practicing Vipassana over the years. I wonder if there is a way to find even 5 minutes a day for you to still connect with your practice?

Ben: Actually, Mom usually sleeps during the day from about 11:00 to 1:30 or 2:00. But that’s usually when I get most of my work done.

Chaplain: Of course. Would it be possible to take just 5 minutes—say, around noon—to take a break from work and meditate?

Ben: Yes. Maybe I can try that.

Chaplain: And just see how it feels. Try it for a couple of days and adjust as necessary. You may find that 5 minutes is all you need for a while. Or, you may find yourself reconnecting with that sense of grounding you’ve felt before and want to go longer. Another thing is Mom’s routine may change and then you can adjust your practice with her schedule as you need to.

Ben: That sounds workable. Okay. I’ll give that a try starting tomorrow.

Chaplain: One of the most important things for caregivers is to take care of themselves, Ben. Sleep when you can, drink water, eat regular healthy meals, and keep on with your spiritual practice, even if it is for less time than you wish you could give it. No one else can do these things for you. Also, I imagine at some level you miss the community of the group you have meditated with at the center?

Ben: Yeah. I haven’t thought about it much, but now that you mention it, I do have friends there who care about me, and I haven’t been in touch with them for a while now.

Chaplain: Supportive community can also be really helpful during stressful times like these. There is a spiritual community online called the Spiritual Naturalist Society. They offer a monthly secular mindfulness meditation on Zoom if you might like to check that out?

Ben: Yeah. That would be really helpful. I’ve been working so hard at everything, I haven’t been taking care of myself. This gives me some simple things to pay attention to that will help me get in a better frame of mind to be there for Mom, and for Jess too. Thanks, James.

Chaplain: You’re welcome, Ben. I’m glad we got to visit today. I’ll send you a link with more information about the SNS online meditation group. Feel free to book another appointment with me in a few weeks if you want to check in about how things are going or if something else comes up.

Ben: Okay. I sure will. Thanks again.

Chaplain: You’re welcome Ben. Bye bye.

Ben: Goodbye.

If you would like to contact me, please email SNSChaplains@gmail.com.

Notes: